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Burnout is a serious and scary thing to experience
As someone who has not only experienced burnout, but also chronic burnout…
Avoiding it in the first place is the best way to go
Now I am a full-time mom of toddlers with a developmental delay, I make almost everything that we eat from scratch, and I have multiple businesses that I am growing
I have learned 11 things that help avoid burnout:
- Learn to evaluate and recognize signs of burnout before it happens
- Prioritize your basic needs
- Schedule self-care like it is an important event
- Take time to practice gratitude and deep breathing every morning and night
- Learn how to prioritize your time for both the day and the long run
- Work on your internal beliefs and self-talk
- Recognize that things won’t be in perfect balance, but you will need to recover from the imbalance
- Create a purpose for what you are doing that is deeply personal
- Connect with other people that are like you and healthy for you
- Remember that you are an evolving human and that things change
- Declutter your home and workspace
Most of these apply to everyone even if they need to be adjusted for your specific needs
And they all help you avoid a problem that increases your chances of burnout
Learn to evaluate and recognize signs of burnout before it happens
The very first thing I recommend is learning the signs that you are heading toward burnout
Burnout isn’t a fast process usually and there are steps that lead you there
Check out this article to learn about the burnout stages
If you can learn to evaluate yourself and your life then you are more prepared to avoid things like burnout
Just like anything in life, there are clues before something falls apart
Sometimes the clues last a while and sometimes it happens fast
But the more you pay attention to your life and look for the stages of burnout, the more likely you are to pivot and avoid burnout before it happens
Prioritize your basic needs
One of the major reasons that parents burnout is because basic needs are being met
I can’t tell you how many times I have gotten busy and forgotten to eat until bedtime
Or if I only ate the things my kids didn’t eat
Maybe I didn’t drink water or get another sleep
Sleep is hard for a lot of parents, but it is needed
My husband and I have an agreement
If the kids wake up at night, he takes care of it
When morning comes, I take over and he can go sleep and take a nap later if needed
That way we both get the sleep needed
If that isn’t possible for you, look at your reality and see where you can fit your needs
If your kids have school, prioritize getting a nap if you didn’t get sleep that night
Basic needs are mandatory to keep you healthy
The dishes can wait if you haven’t eaten, had water, showered, or slept enough
Think about your child(ren)
I assume that their needs are a non-negotiable
Things will get moved or canceled if they need something
You should be doing the same for you
Schedule self-care like it is an important event
A lot of moms use self-care and basic needs interchangeably
But they are not the same
Basic needs are the things that all people need to survive and stay healthy both short-term and long term
Self-care is the things you do as an individual to keep your individuality and soul alive
Basic care is survival mode, self-care brings you into living mode
Survival mode is helpful if you need it, but staying in a mode of just meeting your basic needs will lead to burnout
It will take longer than if you weren’t meeting basic needs, but it will still happen
Self-care is not a one size fits all
For some moms, self-care is the spa and getting a mani and peti
For me, self-care is reading, crafting, and learning
Being a parent is busy and exhausting
So self-care may feel impossible
But all it takes is 10 minutes a day to meet the bare minimum of self-care that will make a difference
If you want some 10-minute self-care ideas, check out my article
Take time to practice gratitude and deep breathing every morning and night
I learned in my early twenties that I have a habit of focusing on the bad in my life
There was always good in my life, but I didn’t notice it because I was too busy noticing the bad
A huge change happened in my life when I took time every morning and every night to think of 3 things that I am grateful for
I start with deep breathing to remove anything that may be overwhelming me
Then I name 3 things that I am grateful for
The trick is that I cannot use the same thing unless I add a specific reason
This makes it so I can’t mindlessly practice my gratitude
Keep in mind that this ISN’T toxic positivity
Practicing gratitude isn’t ignoring the bad that happens to you and only looking at the good
Practicing gratitude is making sure that you DO notice the good while also giving the bad the attention that is needs
Because let’s be real
The bad takes more time and mental load than the good usually
By praticing gratitude, you are teaching your brain to notice the good things that happen
Because good things happen all the time
At first, it will be work
You will have to try hard to find six new things to be grateful for a day
But after some time and practice, it will become second nature
Learn how to prioritize your time for both the day and the long run
Most people, whether they work or stay at home with kids, have more to do than they have time
Often, that is how burnout starts
You are trying to do too much in too little time
My mom used to call it “burning the candle at both ends”
One of the major skills that help bring me from chronic burnout to avoiding burnout was learning to prioritize for both the long term and the short term
Short term is determining what is important for the day and what isn’t
Then not commit to anything that isn’t important
At the same time, I plan for longer term too
What is important for the future me that I can do now to make life easier then
For example, it isn’t important for today if I lay out an outfit and get meat out of the freezer, but it makes a big different for tomorrow
It removes a lot of stress and temptation to skip important tasks
And it doesn’t take much out of today to do those couple of preparation tasks for tomorrow
I have never beena big scheduling person, but doing some time blocking is very helpful for this
It also helps me avoid overextending myself
Every week, I make a list of everything that needs to do be that week in order of importance
Then I separate those tasks into categories
I have a category for writing articles like this one, one for learning programing and other skills, one for deep cleaning, one for normal cooking and cleaning, one for basic needs, and one for self-care
Once I have all the categories filled with tasks in their order of importance, then I add the categories to my calendar
I block out an hour for writing, an hour for learning, an hour for cooking and cleaning, a half hour for deep cleaning, and so on
Once all my categories have been set to days and times, I can clearly see if I have extra time for more and make an educated decision
During those time blocks, I go down the list of tasks and I stop when the time of up
Work on your internal beliefs and self-talk
Reality is just what we perceive to be reality
If you tell yourself that you’re not doing enough or that you feel crazy overwhelmed…
Those feelings will only grow
By changing beliefs about what is required of you and changing the way you talk to yourself, burnout can be much easier to avoid
By knowing that your worth isn’t connected to your productivity, you are less likely to overextend yourself
And by improving your self-talk, you will notice and praise yourself for the good more often
Which does wonders for your mental health
Recognize that things won’t be in perfect balance, but you will need to recover from the imbalance
Life will rarely be in perfect balance
You will have times that require you to work extra hard
And you will have times that allow extra rest
Instead of striving for a daily balance, strive to be better at shifting the imbalances
For example, I joined a blogging challenge last September of 2022.
I wrote 75 articles in 30 days
It was intense and I was exhaisted by the end
Then I did it again in October
To keep myself from burning out, I make November and December rest months
I did the bare minimum during those months and returned to a medium pace in Janurary
By allowing the imbalance to shift from overworking to getting extra rest, I was able to bounce back and do a more balanced schedule without struggle
Create a purpose for what you are doing that is deeply personal
Everything that you are doing needs purpose
That purpose can be to just enjoy yourself
Or maybe you want a better paying job
Or maybe you want to be a present and trustworthy parent
Whatever the reason, it needs to be deeply personal
Without a strong purpose, you will struggle more
Connect with other people that are like you and healthy for you
We are social creatures
Even people to aren’t social are in their own way
We need to be around people like us or complementary to us
Every relationship that you have either gives you energy and life or takes it away
Make sure that your tribe gives you energy and life
Remember that you are an evolving human and that things change
I remember as a new mom being very frustrated because I was trying to get better about hobbies and self-care..
But everything that I enjoyed was not enjoyable anymore
I would tell myself that “I know I like this… What is wrong with me!?”
Nothing was wrong
I was a different person
Instead of clinging to the old you, start creating and finding out more about who you are becoming
It is so much fun to find out what sets your soul on fire as you get older!
Declutter your home and workspace
The last thing that made a huge difference was decluttering
This is still something I have to do regularly!
The more stuff in your space, the more overwhelmed your mind will be
Let go of the things that don’t actively serve you
If you haven’t touched it in years, either prioritize doing that thing or let it go
The less you have, the less you need to take care of
And the clearer your mind will be