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When my kids were born, I realized quickly that I needed to learn how to create a self-care routine as a stay-at-home mom
Every day I would tell myself that I’ll start tomorrow
And everyday I would get too busy and forget
I had to be more mindful and plan
Even better, I wanted to create a habit of caring for myself so it would be second nature
Just like it is to care for everyone else in my family
I did a lot of research and tried many different methods…
But I figured out what works!
It definitely takes effort
And if you’re like me, you’ll fail and start again many… many times
But it’s worth it!
You can do this!
I believe in you!
The Importance of Creating Habits and Routine
Habits and routines are important because our sustainable lives are built on them.
If you want an action to last in your life, a habit is the best way to do that
Have you ever heard the phrase “old habits die hard?”
The more routine you use and the stronger you build a habit, the harder it is to break later
Now imagine using that to help you create the life you want
Working on your dreams and spending a little time on self-care becomes a habit.
That is powerful!
Before we can use routine and habits to our advantage, we need to build them
How to Create New Habits and Routines
Habits are formed in two ways
- From scratch
- Built on top of an old habit
Building on top of an old habit makes it easier
For example, you want to create a skincare routine
Taking care of your skin is a great way to feel better
Instead of trying to just remember, start a simple skincare routine after brushing your teeth
The old habit becomes a trigger (or reminder) of the new habit
Habits have three steps
- Trigger
- Action
- Reward
For this example, we made brushing our teeth the trigger
It reminds our brains that we need to wash our face
Then we do the action
We have our supplies planned out and close to our toothbrush so we wash our face
Lastly, we have the reward.
This can be something as simple as feeling nice with a clean face
Or you can thoughtfully add a reward
But the brain needs a reward to finish the habit sequence
Why Self-Care is So Important For Moms
Many moms feel like taking time for what they want is selfish, but I am going to challenge that
Doing things that you enjoy makes you feel alive and energized
It energizes your emotions and your soul
The longer you go without charging yourself, the harder it is going to be to function at full capacity
You’ll be more tired throughout the day
Maybe you’ll have to go to bed early every night
Without selfcare, you’ll actually use MORE time because you are struggling than it would have taken just to care for yourself
So in my opinion, NOT caring for yourself is selfish
Not just towards everyone else, but also towards you
As moms, we have unlimited chores and responsibilities
It is super overwhelming
When I lived my life trying to do everything before taking time for myself…
I burnt out
And everyone suffered because of it
When I learned how to create a self-care routine as a stay-at-home mom, all of our lives changed for the better
So, please!
Even if it is only 10 minutes a day…
Create a routine where you recharge your soul
On the opposite side, don’t overdo it
It is possible to burn yourself out by doing too many self-care activities
Make sure that you don’t max your time out and stress over doing too much
That is why making a list with categories is a favorite technique of mine
The less you need to think and figure out when it is time do take care of yourself, the more successful your self-care time will be
How To Create a Self-Care List
Creating a self-care list is simple, but is very special to you
No one’s self-care list is exactly the same
I like to make categories like:
- Free
- Cheap
- Expensive
- At home
- Away from home
- With kids
- Without kids
Make categories that help you
When it is time to take time for yourself, what is the excuse not to?
Is it money? They make categories based on budget
Is it time? Kids?
By thoughtfully making categories that will fit different times of your life, the next step will be easier
Once you have a few categories, then it is time to fill them
For me, this was the hard part!
I wrote down all the things that I liked to do before kids
But I found that I did not enjoy them as much as I used to
So I had to start trying new things and assessing how I felt during and afterward
Adding Self-Care To Your Daily Life
Once you have your self-care lists done, then it is easier to add it to your daily life.
I like to use time blocking
But as a mom, I use pretty large blocks of time
For example, I have the basic morning routine activities from 7 to 9
Will they take two hours?
Nope
But if I don’t give myself more than enough time, then something is bound to happen that will take a lot of time
With self-care, I schedule fun and independent activities for my kids (or have a babysitter) while I have my time
The activities for the kids are fun, exciting, and special
That way, they are less likely to need my attention
Then I fill in something from my self-care list that is appropriate
For example, I wouldn’t do a “no kids” activity when they are with me
One of my favorite things to do while I have my kids is painting my nails
I use gel paint so it dries in a couple of minutes
And I can stop if needed
Then start again when the crisis is averted
Scheduling in time like you would a Dr appointment is important
Because if you leave it to your memory or to chance, it will not happen
If you could accidentally learn how to create a self-care routine as a stay-at-home mom, you would already have the routine down
How To Create a Self-Care Routine as a Stay-at-Home Mom That You’ll Actually Follow
Remember what I talked about with habits?
You need a trigger, a habit, and a reward to form a new habit
Evaluate your day
What time of day would be the easiest to add a 10-minute mommy session to?
For me, it’s the morning
My kids wake up slow and are independent players in the morning
Once breakfast and dishes are done, that is the best time to spend some time for me
Once the day gets going and my kids get to their crazy selves, getting me time is HARD
Once you know what time of day, think about your current habits
What do you do without thinking about it?
For me, I make breakfast every day
And make that my trigger for my self-care habit
So every day after breakfast, I will spend time doing something on my self-care list
Don’t end those care sessions on a bad note
If you have something happen where you get frustrated or have to stop because of your kids…
Go back to it for a couple more minutes
Remember the 3rd step to creating a habit?
Reward!
You have to end feeling happy or satisfied
Or the habit will not form
It will become a chore
Your journey to learning how to create a self-care routine as a stay at home mom will be unique to you.
So keep trying and learning!