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I never saw myself as a stay-at-home mom type
I was an overachiever and I constantly overworked
But everything changed when my kids were born
I couldn’t stand the thought of leaving them
Thankfully, my husband supported my decision and even preferred it
He loves his kids but I have way more patience!
I quickly realized that being a stay-at-home mom is just as exhausting as working
I do most of the planning and work in the household
So I had to learn how to get more energy as a stay-at-home mom
Do stay-at-home moms get tired?
The fact that the question actually is commonly asked makes me sad
Of course, stay-at-home moms get tired!
Our work is constant and often gets little appreciation
I’m lucky that my husband knows how hard it is and appreciates what I do, but not all moms have that
Society has created an expectation on moms to do able to everything and not get tired
Think about all your responsibilities…
If you are like me, you:
- Take care of the kids most of the time
- Plan all the meals
- Cook all the meals
- Clean up after the meals
- Do the laundry
- Fold and put away the laundry
- Take care of animals
- Do extracurricular activities with the kids
- Make husband’s lunch
- Pay the bills
- Keep track of credit reports
- And so much more
The physical and mental responsibilities are endless
Then to work that hard and have people question why you are tired?
It’s time we let go of the unrealistic expectations we have of ourselves and start treating moms like humans
We have needs and desires
And we deserve to be appreciated for what we do!
Why Am I So Tired?
Before we can tackle our lack of energy, we need to know what the cause of our exhaustion is
We spend so much time trying to solve symptoms that we don’t fix the cause of those issues
There are many reasons you may be extra tired
You could be getting poor sleep (moms sleep??)
Even if you are sleeping enough, you could be getting restless sleep
With the amount of caffeine that is consumed daily, that is a real possibility
There could be issues with our diet too
But most of those reasons are commonly thought about
I want to bring 5 more possibilities to light that are forgotten or discarded
- Burnout
Burnout is a real and scary issue for many moms
I had issues with burning myself out before becoming a mom too
Society appreciates overworking, which is not a good thing
When we overwork and have constant stress, we risk burnout
When was the last time you refilled your cup?
If the answer isn’t “today” or “yesterday”, you may not be prioritizing your needs
Just like we charge our cell phones every day so they can work right, we need to recharge ourselves every day too
There will be short periods of time where that isn’t possible, but the key word is “short”
There are 1-3 days or even a week or two where I am working hard towards a goal so I don’t take as much me time
But it is a temporary stretch of time
Burnout is a scary thing and if that is the cause of your exhaustion, you need to focus on healing and prioritizing yourself more in the future
- Depression
Depression is another very serious concern
Depression can zap the energy right out of you and make life very difficult
Postpartum depression is a real and dangerous disorder
And it can take time to set in
I didn’t get postpartum Depression bad, but my sister did
She struggled to even get out of bed
Looking back, she doesn’t remember much about the first few months of her kids’ lives
If clinical depression or Postpartum depression are possibilities for you, please connect with your doctor
There are options, but suffering silently is not one of them
I got diagnosed with clinical depression 3 years before my kids were born.
Medication is a great option for some but not the only one
I’m proud to say that I used natural holistic methods to heal my life
Talk with your doctor and actively work on healing if depression is what is zapping your energy
Treating the lack of energy alone is not enough
- Self-care
Moms tend to be really bad about taking care of ourselves
There are unending responsibilities constantly fighting for our attention
If I am not careful, I neglect myself
It is something that I have to be mindful of every day
Or I will stop and realize that I’ve been so busy that I haven’t even showered in a week
- Appreciation
Being a mom is constant work
It is physically, mentally, and emotionally demanding
I am so thankful that my husband understands that and appreciates what I do
But I am a lucky one
Most moms that I talk to don’t feel appreciated
That can zap energy right out of you
When you work so hard all day just to be asked what you did all-day
Or have people talk about how you are lucky to stay at home and do nothing instead of working
If this is you, something needs to change
Communication about your need for appreciation needs to happen
I am a firm believer in being my own cheerleader, but your partner and family should be supporters
Not the reason you are more exhausted
- Identity
One of the most common issues for moms today is the loss of identity
It is everywhere
I see men in podcasts frustrated that all they see is a mom and not a wife
Most moms cannot answer a simple question…
“What do you do for fun?” or “What are your hobbies?”
This is a problem that requires everyone to work together for
Fathers need to be a father and give moms some free time
Moms need to accept help and take care of their identity
Everything in your life changed when you became a mom
If you are like me, your identity disappeared
It is not sustainable
Having no identity outside of being a mom is a huge energy zap
You don’t have anything that makes you excited to get up in the morning
It isn’t healthy for you
There is no one size fits all solution to this
But being aware is the first step to solving it in your life
Once you are aware, then you can do more actions to get more energy as a stay-at-home mom
How to get more energy as a stay-at-home mom
Learning how to get more energy as a stay-at-home mom is a process
It may take some time!
Here are some ways to work on it, but make sure you are writing down evaluations
You need to know all the little changes because changing your life will be an addition of many time shifts
Without keeping track, it can feel like nothing is working
Try the one that feels right, test for a few weeks, write everything down, evaluate, and start over with a new one!
- Find the cause of your exhaustion
I put finding the cause of the exhaustion first and talked about some possibilities for a reason
If there is an underlying reason for your lack of energy, no tips and tricks will work long term
It would be a bandaid on a broken bone
Tricks and tips may seem like they would help, but you have to fix the real problem
- Get some self-care time, even if it’s 10 minutes
Self-care is mentioned as a cause and a solution
If lack of self-care is the cause, then it is the obvious solution
But it is so hard to get time to yourself as a busy mom!!!
I don’t even pee alone most of the time
There are a few solutions to this that I so over in another post
- Drink more water
Water is very important for our survival
Our brains have a hard time telling the difference between hunger and thirst
So many people end up eating to satisfy that need
But if the problem was thirst, you are going to feel worse
My suggestion?
Drink some water before you eat every time
I drink about a cup or a few large chugs before eating
Water will help you feel better and give you more energy!
- Eat better meals
Nutrition is a big deal
Food is fuel for our bodies
If all the food is low quality, our energy will take a hit
This can be hard as a busy mom, but totally possible!
- Get moving
I know it seems weird
But exercise and moving both take energy and gives energy
It is science
What is in motion stays in motion
What is still stays still
I have a few tasks that are easy to convince myself to do so I can build on that energy for harder tasks
- Treat and prevent burnout
Burnout happens when you have ongoing stress
AKA being a mom!
Yes there are many ways to get burnt out, but it is very common among moms
The important thing to realize is that you have to treat the burnout and recover before trying anything else
Burnout zaps your energy and makes even the simplest tasks hard
How do you recover from mom burnout?
You recover by taking as much stress out of your life as you can and creating a self-care routine
- Create a routine as a family
Building on setting up a self-care routine for you, create a routine for the family
This doesn’t have to be super strict but some routine is very helpful
It helps you and most kids thrive on routine!
When there is less resistance throughout the day, you get more energy as a stay-at-home mom
I like to use time blocking
It makes my time more intentional, gives me a sense of accomplishment at the end of the day, and makes transitions easier
This won’t directly give you more energy, but it will lower the energy used on fighting your kids to get things done
- Talk with your support system
My support system is mainly my husband
My mother-in-law helps sometimes, but she is overwhelmed with her own life
And I have two friends that live close
There are times when I just need a little extra help
The people in my support system are not mind-readers
And honestly, most people aren’t more skilled at seeing a need than moms are at covering the need
If you need a little extra help, ask for it
If you don’t have a support system, try starting a playgroup for kids the same age as yours
I met two of my best friends that way
You can advertise with a flyer in a local store or post an event on Facebook
Building a support system will benefit your entire family
- Be mindful of your bedtime routine
Bedtime routine is important for good sleep
You can even fall asleep without getting good sleep
This happens a lot when you spend too much time on electronics before bed
This is hard for me
I had to move my phone out of the bedroom
But even then, I sometimes have work to do before I can go to bed
And I work on the computer
My goal is to have at least 30-minutes before bed electronic free
Having a step-by-step routine will also help trigger your brain that it is time to sleep
Better sleep means more energy for the next day
- Take a shower and dress up
As a mom, I don’t take a lot of time to dress up
But I make it a priority if I need a little extra energy
Taking a shower, putting on nice clothes, doing my hair, and putting on makeup gives me an energy boost every time I look in the mirror
Looking good helps me feel good too
I have gotten really good at 5-minute showers to make it possible with my busy life
But it really does help me get more energy as a stay-at-home mom
- Look at your to-do list and prioritize
Lastly, take a look at what you spend your time on and prioritize
Not everything we do is important
Learn to say no to things that you don’t need to do so you have time for things that you do need to do and things that make you feel good
It can feel selfish to say no to doing something so you can do something for you
But it isn’t selfish
Self-care can actually make you a better mom!
I also prioritize the things that I do need to do
Yes, I need to fold the laundry
But dishes and time with my kids need to happen first
Laundry can wait until tomorrow
Will you be trying any of these tips to get more energy as a stay-at-home mom?
Want to know more about getting more energy as a mom? Check out this post!