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I will never forget the moment I realized that I was struggling so much because I was burnt out
Honestly, I was angry with myself
I didn’t have time to be burnt out
But that didn’t help did it?
Burnout is a real issue for a lot of different people, but moms have a hard time accepting it and fixing it
Mom burnout can be identified with common symptoms like anxiety, loss of energy, loss of enjoyment, fatigue, disassociation, and more. Experiencing burnout means you need to take a step back from the intense work so you can heal and then change to prevent it in the future
What I see happening a lot, and what I did for a long time, is moms pushing through the burnout and entering chronic burnout
And that is even harder to heal and prevent
There needs to be a balance of work and play
It doesn’t need to be a daily balance because that isn’t likely
But there does need to be a weekly or monthly balance
If you are questioning if you are experiencing burnout, you are in the right place
What is burnout?
Burnout occurs when someone has worked themselves too hard for too long so their body went into survival mode
Think of your life like a phone battery
A certain amount of battery always goes to the core elements of the phone, like the background apps and lighting
If you keep using your phone to do many different things, what happens when you hit 15% battery?
You get a little warning
What happens when you reach 5% battery?
Your phone goes into survival mode and still struggles
Burnout is your 5% mode and chronic burnout is a dead battery
What’s crazy is that we would never get upset at our phone batteries for running out of energy and needing a charge
We would just take a break from using it and charge it
But we don’t give our internal battery the same understanding
We have our core functions, staying warm and other life requirements functions
And then we have all the extra things we add
Once we hit 15%, we get tired but we are still ok
Under most circumstances, it is a good idea to stop and recharge
But we still have a couple of things to do
Once we reach 5% though, everything starts to get hard
Even the basic functions
Things that you love aren’t enjoyable, it is hard to stay warm, and even small tasks feel impossible
And it just gets worse as the last 5% runs out
Wait… Do moms get burnout??
Yes!!!!
I think more moms have burnout than don’t
Or at least have experienced it
Being a mom is one of the most overworked professions, but also the least appreciated
Nurses and doctors are very overworked, but they are recognized for that work
And they get paid
But moms don’t get any of that
We work 24/7 and we are shamed for being tired
We are told that the work isn’t that hard and we need to stop complaining
Our work is a privilege
I agree, but that doesn’t change that being a mom is so hard
I have been on both sides
I have worked 3 jobs before
And while I was definitely tired, I never experienced burnout as fast as I did as a mom
How do I know if I am suffering from burnout?
There are many symptoms to look for
I look for:
- Struggling with basic tasks
- Constant negative self-talk
- Tired and sleep doesn’t help
- Loss of enjoyment when doing fun things
- Disassociation with life
- Struggling to care for myself
- Looking back and realizing that I have been doing too much
If you are not sure, disassociation from life feels like you are watching your own life from the outside
You aren’t connected anymore
Memories don’t stick and you lose large sections of time
It is very unpleasant, but you can’t even tell that because you are not emotionally connected
After experiencing burnout and chronic burnout, I have memories of how it feels to be heading in that direction
It is a little different for everyone
But the concepts are the same
You are exhausted all the time and there is nothing you can do to stop it
But you are angry that even the smallest task, like replacing the paper towel roll, feels impossible to achieve
Now that I know what my burnout feels like, I can better prevent it
But healing from it takes a while
What do I do to stop burnout?
There are two types of burnout
Burnout and chronic burnout
Burnout happens first and chronic burnout happens when you push through burnout and get burnt out again
Burnout is easier to heal from than chronic burnout because burnout has become a habit by that point
So you not only need to heal from burnout, but you also need to break a habit
The first thing you need to do is “stop the bleeding”
Your burnout was caused by overwork, so you need to stop doing all the things that you have been doing
This is very hard to do because we can’t really stop being a mom
So do the absolute minimum
You are not trying to thrive right now
You are trying to stop the bleeding
Once you have done that, take time to breathe, relax, and take care of yourself
Focus on doing things that are low energy but still fun
Even if you don’t feel the fun right now
Just take time to slowly recharge
Think about that phone battery
If it is super dead, it doesn’t light up right after plugging it in
It needs a few minutes to have enough charge to respond to being plugged in
We are the same way
Recovering from burnout can take a while depending on how bad you had it
So for now, focus on rest and healing until things feel better
Then you can start adding more to your list again
And planning correctly can help prevent burnout from happening again
How do I prevent it in the future?
Once you have recovered from burnout, you know how hard it is
So it is best to just prevent it in the future
Planning is my favorite prevention
I plan large 1-3 hour blocks in my life
I don’t put specific things in that plan but I do make a routine that balances work and play
Play is how you recharge
So I start with adding appointments or any set time things to my calendar
Then I decide when the best times for play and self-care are
Then I block those times off
I can decide what I am putting there later
But for now, I have time to put aside
I also block off time for household chores
Activities will fill the time you give it
So if you give yourself all day to clean the house, it will take all-day
But if you give yourself 2 hours, you will get more done in a shorter amount of time
I also add blocks for my business, but that is only needed if you are doing that too
This forces me to balance my work and play
It doesn’t go perfectly every day, but this is the default
Then I decide exactly what I will do every day or at the beginning of the week
If I don’t accidentally overwork myself, I am preventing that burnout
It has been several years since my last burnout issues and I lived in chronic burnout
So this works