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I have always been a high achiever
There was never a goal that I wasn’t working very hard for…
Until I became a mom
Everything I did to reach my goals was no longer possible
I couldn’t spend hours on my goals without distraction anymore and I found myself not setting goals at all
It was too frustrating to set goals and then struggle through every step
And then still not reaching them
I kept telling myself that I will start reaching for goals again when the kids got older
They got older, but things just got harder in different ways
My problem wasn’t that I couldn’t reach goals anymore
It was that I couldn’t do it the same way anymore
I needed to adjust my methods and expectations
How can I be a successful stay-at-home mom?
There are countless ways to be a successful mom
There are countless goals to set for yourself
The first thing you need to do it create a clear image of what a successful mom looks like to you
Make it so clear that it feels like this person is a real person that you could talk to
Then ask yourself questions
Why is this what a successful mom looks like?
Sometimes moms tend to think of success and they think of a spotless home with homecooked meals every day
They think of perfection
That isn’t a successful mom
That is a fantasy that society fed us
I had that mom
She cooked every day and the house was always spotless
But I don’t ever remember getting her time
For me, that isn’t success
I want my kids happy and healthy first
I also have goals to break generational poverty
Question yourself greatly when creating this image of a successful mom
Once you have it, think of ONE thing that needs to change in your life to move towards being the person that you want to be
Don’t do more than ONE
That is when you can start the steps to reaching your goals
I talk more about that below
Why are goals important for stay-at-home moms?
There are many reasons that goals are important for moms:
- Goals help moms build their identity
- Goals help you remember to dream and then chase dreams
- Goals help give structure to your day
- Goals give you a tangible sense of accomplishment
- Goals give you energy throughout your day
- Goals help you learn to be organized and prioritize
- Goals help you and your family feel better
- Goals help prevent burnout
- You can teach your kids about goals through your example
Each one is going to be important to someone
For me, I needed all of them
Once I lost my drive to reach my goals, my life took a turn for the worst
I never took care of myself, was burnt out, had no energy, and was just overall barely surviving each day
My first appearance of trying new goals was in 2020
Sadly, the first few attempts at creating goals and going for them didn’t work out
But I learned a ton
And I learned a ton about me
After only two years, I am a completely different person
I am healthy
I am joyful
And my family followed me
I created goals for more self-care, finding a hobby, eating and cooking better, and creating an income from home
Now I do self-care almost daily, have 5 hobbies that a choose from and love, cook almost everything we eat, and officially made my first dollar online
While a dollar doesn’t feel like much, it is important to celebrate every win
You will get way further using small steps than you would using huge steps
Whatever your reason for the goals you choose, they will improve your life greatly
You will be shocked how many areas of your life improve when you are working towards something
Even if that something is “yelling less every day”
Expect setbacks and failures
Success isn’t reaching the goal
It is working towards that goal every day you can without ever quitting
How to create goals that you can keep up with
Once you have your WHY and your end goal, I have 5 tips for actually reaching your goals:
- Start with SMART goals
- Break goals down into checkpoints
- Break checkpoints into daily actions
- Remember to account for rest time and Uh Oh time
- Plan for rewards when you reach your checkpoints
All 5 are important!
Start with SMART goals
The first thing you need to do it make your goals tangible
The goal “I will eat better” will not help you at all
SMART stands for:
Specific
Measurable
Achievable
Realistic
Timely
Your goal needs to be specific
For example, I made a goal to “make all our potato chips at home before the end of the month”
The “all” was measurable
It was only one food item and was very achievable
It was realistic because it only takes a couple hours a week to make 2-3 bags of chips
And “before the end of the month” gave me a time limit
But gave me enough time to test recipes before just going cold turkey on store bought potato chips
My WHY for this goal was because there was evidence that the chips that my kids were eating was harming their healthy and development
Since I have a picky eater that mostly eats chips, this goal was important to me
3 months later, I still make all the potato chips at home
Once I reached that goal, I did the same thing with a new goal
Try not to make the goals something that you can’t control
For example, a specific income from home by the end of the year
You can control the work you put in but not the results
So I make goals on the content that I create
I can measure that goal, feel accomplished, and those actions are what will make the money in the future
Break goals down into checkpoints
Once you have the end goal, break it into checkpoints
The first week I focused on research and finding recipes to try
Then I tried those recipes for a week
I kept revising the third week
The fourth week I figured out how many chips I needed to make so we didn’t have to buy them, and stopped buying them
Check points make a larger goal more reachable
Break checkpoints into daily actions
Once you have your checkpoints, figure out what actions need to be done to reach each check points and schedule them into your days or week
Having goals is great but you need to know what you need to do
What actions are needed for those goals and when are you going to do those actions
Schedule them just like any important appointment
Keep in mind that the time you have is limited as a mom
So don’t put too much on your schedule, but you need to schedule or plan to do something
Remember to account for rest time and Uh Oh time
Rest time is very important
Don’t skip it!
My first mistake when learning my goals was trying to do too much
I filled every 30 minutes of my day with something
Make sure you have time to rest, play with your kids, spend time with your partner, and…
Plan for Uh oh time
My uh oh time is when I do the actions that didn’t get done because life got in the way
If the day went great and uh oh time isn’t needed, then it turns into play time
Don’t find new things to put there
Use that time for you
Plan for rewards when you reach your checkpoints
Lastly, think of ways to reward yourself when you reach checkpoints and goals
I have a celebration with my kids
We sing and dance and have fun
Maybe I make a treat for us
But think of a reward that excites you so you are more excited to do the actions needed to reach your goals