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We hear all the time as parents that we need to do self-care, but reality makes that very difficult!
How am I supposed to do self-care????
I made this list of the things that many of my mom friends enjoy doing as self-care
They range in price and time to help you find something realistic for you
If something pops up that you don’t like or don’t think is possible for you, just move on!
Realistic means something different for everyone, so I tried to have a lot of variety in my suggestions
Manicure or pedicure
I like to do my own nails at home
I use gel nail polish so I can stop and help my kids between layers if I need to
But many moms I know really enjoy going to get their nails done at a salon
Both versions are awesome forms of self-care!
If you are on a budget or enjoy the creativity of doing your own nails…
Do it!
If you have the money and want to go get pampered by someone else
Do it!
There is no right or wrong
The goal is to recharge your mind and body by doing something that makes you happy
Thrift shopping
Thrift shopping is a lot of fun!
If you can give yourself a finders fund for thrift shopping, you can have fun and find amazing things if you get lucky!
Some cities have many thrift stores to visit, while others only have one or two
My city has two thrift shops that I like to visit
I don’t usually find anything amazing
And I try not to buy something just to buy something
But just going out is enjoyable
And those lucky days are extremely exciting!
A hot bath with candles and wine
I am not a bath person, but there are a lot of moms that love baths!
This can be done when a partner or family member watches the kids, or after they go to bed
Fill a tub with hot water, add some fun things like rose pedals or a bath bomb, light some candles, and get a glass of wine if you want
Then just relax
Envision all the stresses of the day coming off you and into the water
Take deep breaths and allow your mind to stop thinking about all the things you need to do
This is a great cure for your body, mind, and soul!
Emotional release
This one may sound silly but I promise that it does wonders for your mental health!
Get all of the emotions you held in and let them all out
You can do this by screaming into a pillow, or going outside
Or in my case, I play some music that helps me release the emotions that are eating me alive
If you are like me, you are probably thinking “yeah, yeah. Not a chance”
I thought it sounded weird when it was first recommended to me
Even though I know how much it helps now, I still struggle to let it out without something (like music) to help me
Something different with your hair
I have struggled with my self-image for years
The goal of self-care is to do something that makes you feel good
For me, one of those things is dying my hair red
I love it and it makes me feel good
Does it take effort and money to upkeep?
Yes
But for me, the happiness I get from it is worth it
If you are in a slump, try changing your hair
You would be amazed how much it can help!
Journaling
Journaling is something I have had to really try to get into
When I am feeling fine, I don’t want to journal
When I am not feeling fine, I struggle to know what to write down
One of my favorite things to do now is to use journal prompts
I just read through prompts until one catches my eye
Then I write it in my journal and just meditate on it for a while
Once I feel like I am ready, I write down everything that comes to my mind because of the prompt
I let it all out
I love it because when I am done…
My mind is silent
My mind is never silent!!!
But journaling is amazing for that
If you haven’t really tried it, I encourage you to give it a shot!
Reading a book
I love to read
I prefer books that I can learn from, but I also like reading stories that make me feel good
I may be a hopeless romantic and love romantic stories that keep my attention!
The great thing about books is that you can read a few pages when you have a moment, or listen to the audiobook
It can be a nice way to spend a few minutes (or hours if you can) for yourself!
Watching a show you enjoy
We all know how it is to constantly watch or listen to the shows that our kids enjoy
One way to show yourself some love is by watching something that you like!
You can do it while the kids are distracted in the same room, or when they go to bed
There is a lot of flexibility
I do discourage watching your show while you do chores if you can avoid it
Some moms like it, but I find it hard to notice important details in the story I am supposed to be enjoying
Face masks
I love face masks!
I do the ones that stay soft and the ones that dry
I am obviously not a face mask expert!
But I do love that I can put them on, do things I need to do, and my skin feels amazing after!
I also use the under-eye patches for the same reason
The funny looks I get from my kids just make it more fun and enjoyable!
Go out into nature
Nature is the best free cure in my opinion
If I am feeling extra stressed, I take my kids to the river we live next to
They get to play and have fun without me, and I get to enjoy the fresh air and peace
But there are many ways to enjoy nature
You can step outside barefoot and use the natural ground to ground yourself
You can go for a hike, or do other outdoor activities
The only requirement is that you are outside and near something nature-ish
For me, this is easy
We live somewhere with more nature than people
For moms in the city, maybe visit a part
Sit and breathe while your kids play on the playground
Find what works for you!
Going to therapy
Therapy is not an option for everyone
I have not had great luck finding a therapist I like, but it is a very real option for some moms
My insurance covers therapy and I am choosing to do the online therapists because I don’t have a babysitter most of the time and we live very far from big cities
If therapy is an option for you, I think you should try it!
Keep in mind that it might take time to find a therapist that you like and that works with you well
If you are unhappy with your therapist… Move on!
As someone who tried to stick with a therapist that I did not do well with, it’s not worth it
Rock out to fast and powerful music
One of my favorite ways to get a boost of energy is to turn on a playlist of songs that get my energy moving
These are songs that make me want to sing loud and move my body
Music is an amazing tool for overall health
And it doesn’t have to cost anything!
Grow a garden
I was never someone who liked to garden…
Until this year
Now I LOVE my plants
I love the fresh lavender I get
And I love getting fruits, vegetables, and herbs from my garden for dinner
It is peaceful and very rewarding
Flower gardens are great too
The great thing about gardens is that they are 100% customizable to your time, ability, and space!
Play video games
I am not a huge video game person
I will enjoy a game for a couple of weeks every once in a while
But it is a real option for many moms!
If you enjoy playing video games, maybe it is time to start again!
Take some time for yourself
I like games that I can pause so I can play during the day, but you can play online games if you have help or time when the kids are in bed
Workout
Working out is amazing for your overall health
But it doesn’t have to be crazy or miserable!
It could be a relaxing stretch, a simple walk, or reaching fitness goals
Don’t pay attention to the people saying how fitness is “supposed to be”
Try things out and find what you like
The important part is that you get your body moving!
Cook or bake something nice
I love to cook and bake so this had to be on the list!
I love the process and I love making people around me happy
The dishes aren’t fun, but it is worth it!
I just make sure to make enough that the dishes are worth it
This is a little different than the normal dinners
This is something extra that you make because you want to!
Don’t count normal chores as self-care
Reconnect with your religion
I am not a religious person, but I can see how big it is for a lot of moms
If you are religious, taking time to reconnect to your religion can do amazing things for you!
This could be helping in an outreach, feeding someone who needs food, praying, or anything else that reconnects you to your religion
It can be easy to get so busy that you forget that these parts of yourself
Maybe it is time to reconnect!
Create something (crafting, wood puzzles, legos, etc)
I love to make things
I like to do a large variety of creations like:
- Cooking
- Baking
- Crochet
- Tatting
- Lotions
- Candles
- And more
I just enjoy the satisfaction of putting work into something and getting something amazing at the end
There are so many amazing skills that you can learn whether you can leave your house or not
The challenge is just trying things until you find one or more that you like!
It is also okay if those preferences change
I’ll go a couple of weeks just crocheting, and then need a break for a couple of months
The goal is to do something that makes you happy
And it is normal if the same things don’t make you happy every time
Get a massage
I have never been to a professional massage but I want to!
I hear other moms talk about how amazing it is so it needed to be on the list
This one does require help with the kids and money
I find that my husband is not a reliable source of massage
Stepping away from kids if you need it
Overstimulation is a real issue for all people of all ages
Just because you are a mom now doesn’t mean you are immune to human emotion and overwhelm
If you need to put on a movie or give the kids a tablet for a minute so you can decompress in the bathroom…
Do what you need to do
When I give myself those 30 seconds to recompose, I find that I am calmer and able to care for my kids better
It is the best choice for everyone involved
Learn or play an instrument
I used to play four different instruments:
- Piano
- Guitar
- Violin
- Flute
I am pretty naturally gifted at music
Even though I was good at it, it was a chore more than a passion
Just because you are good at something doesn’t mean you are going to like it
The same goes the other way
Just because you aren’t good doesn’t mean you won’t love it
Music takes time to learn, but if you love it then do it!
There is something soul-calming about getting lost in a song you are creating
Hot showers with Eucalypts
Hot showers are always nice, but I recommend adding dried Eucalypts at least once
The steam releases the amazing oils and it just feels so good
Take a bunch of dried leaves and tie them together
Then attach that bundle to your shower head
It feels so good and adds another layer of pampering to your shower
Practice gratitude
Taking time to practice gratitude is something I try to do every day
I grew up in an abusive situation where I had to be ready for the bad before it came
That created a mental habit of only focusing on the bad or possible bad in my life
It once kept me safe, but I don’t need that anymore
I practice gratitude by writing down at least three things every morning and three things every night that I am grateful for
One of each of those has to be about me
This helps me find the good in my life and the good in me
Volunteer for something important to you
Volunteering for a cause that is important to you can do a lot for your soul
This is different for everyone
I love to feed people
So making food and feeding people is something important to me
You could volunteer at a pet shelter, your local school, donate handmade supplies, and more
I recommend doing something that adds a piece of you
Donating money is amazing, but try to make that personal too
The point isn’t to quickly do something to get your good deed out of the way
The point is to refuel yourself by doing something important to you