This post contains affiliate links. I may make a small commission at no extra charge to you when you buy with my link. I appreciate the support!
Burnout is a terrifying thing to go through when you don’t know what’s happening
I made it through all five SAHM burnout stages before I figured out what was happening to me
Once I knew what I was experiencing, my journey to recovery began
It was not easy!
But life is so much better when you aren’t living in burnout
What is mom burnout?
Mom burnout is when a mom is doing too much for too long without a break so she gets emotionally, physically, and mentally exhausted
Most moms that I know have experienced burnout
Including myself!
We start working the moment we wake up until the moment we go to bed
We lose track of who we are outside of motherhood because we don’t do anything else
You feel completely exhausted, even when you just wake up
Bad burnout even has you feeling empty and hating waking up
There are still moments that make you smile, but the default of your life is exhaustion and misery
What does mom burnout look like?
Mom burnout looks a little different for everyone, but there are some common symptoms
- Constant exhaustion (even when you have gotten sleep)
- Loss of identity
- Lack of friends
- Not having any hobbies outside of motherhood
- Not enjoying motherhood as much
- Not wanting to go to bed so the next day doesn’t start
- Mental fatigue
- Isolation from others
- Emotionally depleted
- Feeling like an inadequate mom
- And feeling guilty that you are experiencing all of this!
Mom burnout is a terrible thing that zaps all the energy and enjoyment out of you
Even things that used to be fun feel more like a chore
When I went through it…
I remember telling myself that I don’t enjoy being a mom as much as I thought I would
And I feel terrible about it!
I just want to go to the bathroom alone once in a while
Or not have to keep my kids from harming themselves all the time
I used to love naps and my kids stopped taking them when they were 2 years old
Which meant that I stopped too
I have a history of mental illness as well
So when that started flaring up again, I knew I had to make a change
Somehow…
What are the 5 SAHM Burnout stages?
There are 5 major stages of SAHM burnout
Well… burnout in general!
The process you go through when you experience burnout is often slow so the stages are hard to see until it is already far into the process
The only way to fight burnout is to know what it looks like and take action every day to help
The hard part is… burnout doesn’t start bad
It starts amazing!
1. Honeymoon stage
Stage 1 is called the honeymoon stage
This is where are you getting so much done and you feel so accomplished
You are crushing your goals and putting in a ton of time or effort
This is the stage that feels good
The problem is that we compare ourselves to this stage when we have moved past it
“I’ve done it before without issue!”
“Why can’t I get as much done now as I did two months ago?”
We make this stage our default
It is what we compare our normal work to and our burnout work
This is not fair
Yes, you are getting a ton done
But you are also opening yourself up to burnout by starting the stages
After being in the honeymoon stage for a while…
Then you move to stage two
2. Stress onset
Stage two is stress onset
You are starting to feel the intensity of what you are doing
You are getting tired and stressed
It is not terrible at this point, but you are noticing it
Maybe getting everything done gets harder
You can start feeling tired all the time
It isn’t hard to recover though
And we often shrug it off
If we allow this to go on too long, we move into stage three
3. Chronic stress
Stage three is chronic stress
You are stressed more than you are not
Getting your to-do list done is getting harder and harder
It is still possible to get it done, but you are definitely feeling it now
This is when you start comparing yourself to the stage one version of yourself
This comparison only creates more stress and frustration which pushes you to stage four
4. Burnout
We have officially reached burnout
Doing the things on your to-do list feels impossible now
You are always tired and completely unmotivated
You look back at the stage one version and wonder why you can’t be her anymore
It didn’t feel like a big deal then
Why is it a big deal now??
Burnout is physically, emotionally, and mentally exhausting
Let me emphasize that feeling burnt out is terrible
So if you are here, don’t be hard on yourself
Burnout is painful for everyone who experiences it
Believe it or not, we still have one more stage
This is the most common of the SAHM burnout stages
If you don’t take action to recover from mom burnout, you enter stage five
5. Chronic burnout
Stage five is chronic burnout
You don’t remember what it was like before burnout because it is the new normal
You always feel exhausted
There is never motivation to do what you need to do
You don’t feel happy anymore and you start forgetting who you are outside of being a mom
When I talk to moms, this is the stage most of them are
And it is a terrifying place to be
I have been there too
I got to the point where I wasn’t happy in my life anymore
I’d work all day and you don’t even notice
I didn’t take care of myself
Showering happened less, I didn’t eat well, and I let go of all hobbies I enjoyed
There was no me outside of being a mom
How do you fix SAHM burnout?
There are many ways that you can recover from mom burnout
But most options are just suggestions
The biggest point is that you need to start doing things that bring life and energy back into your day
This can be done through:
- Reading
- Crochet
- Crafting
- Shopping
- Going for a walk
- Making an amazing meal
- Baking
- Taking a nap
- And many more
The possibilities are endless!
To start your recovery, I recommend doing short self-care sessions every day
Starting small will make a huge difference without overwhelming you
Then I recommend creating a routine that includes self-care
Creating a routine helps make self-care a normal part of your life instead of one more thing on your to-do list
Find things you love to do and take a little time to do those things
It took me some trial and error to find what worked for me because I didn’t enjoy the same things that I did before I was a mom
So if you feel the same way, it’s ok!
Just let it go and test some new activities
You never know what you find out you enjoy